#shame on me shame shame shame
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Pulptober 2: Doc Savage
Here is a very low-effort edit picturing Doc Savage the moment he realizes that yet another year has passed without me reading any of his stories.
This is getting more and more awkward each year.
(On an unrelated note: I won't be here tomorrow, because I have to run home to my parents to get the cat vaccinated. But I'm not giving up or anything! I'll catch it up when I get back.)
#I REALLY need to read one of his stories now#here#official decision: I will do so before next year's October#poor guy#superheroes#pulp heroes#Doc Savage#shame on me shame shame shame#Pulptober#Pulptober 2023
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had a real life "and everybody clapped" moment and im still reeling. spent the rest of the ride comparing butterfly pics with the old lady next to me trying to identify it
#this was a little while ago and im. why do these things happen to me#clickity autobio#autobio comic#comics#u will notice my bag disappears halfway thru this comic#this is bc i put it and my coat on the goddamn floor of the tube#so i could jump around like a ninny without smacking anyone in the face#hall of shame
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#i’ve been thinking abt that cringe post#i think the latent feelings behind ‘cringe’ are shame and sometimes envy/bitterness#same vibes as when six year olds say ‘those toys are for babies’ if they’ve been shamed for their age by older kids#anyway. i think part of the healing process is realizing that shame puts you at war with yourself bc part of yourself is a social being!#and that part of you wants community and acceptance (maybe love). shame is the absence of acceptance#unlearning shame means learning self-love and gaining the confidence to find your people#jerma#cw jerma#(someone asked me to tag lol)
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#fool me once shame on you#fool me twice shame on me#fool me six times i think there's rot at the core of the industry#dead boy detectives#the acolyte#ofmd#1899
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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shoutout to autistic people who have memory issues and can't remember many things about your special interests. you don't need to be able to remember things for the interests to be valid or important to you! if you enjoy them that's what matters
#its me im autistic people#i feel shame about this often so im making a positivity post#autism#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autistic positivity#autistic adult#autistic things#max yaks
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im playing disco elysium for the first time and it might be too early to call it but i think ive come across the funniest goddamn exchange in the game
#disco elysium#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#me and my bf have been laughing at this all day#i keep saying/thinking ''so youre the most mentally ill officer in the precinct''#its a shame you cant just say yes#for the record i picked the second option
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thanks that was really helpful
#my posts#my art#comic#im a mouseboy btw. bet you didnt know that#my sona#if one more person smugly shames me for using google instead of duckduckgo when i WAS LITERALLY USING DUCKDUCKGO IM GONNA SCREAM!!!!!!!#< not about people actually trying to be helpful
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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My round belly has been quite a challenge lately, it just doesn’t fit in any shirt and peeks out at the bottom. I gave a presentation today, and I could feel everyone staring. I’ve been enjoying eggnog, heavy cream, and way too much beer this month, and I’ve gained about fifteen kilograms. My liver is hurting, and I’m always sleepy.
#belly gainer#bhm weight gain#cute belly#cute fatty#fat belly#fat bhm#feedee belly#feedee encouragement#feedee feeder#gaining weight on purpose#pot belly#big fat belly#obese belly#sexy belly#ball belly#make me fat#fat humiliation#fat shaming#fat appreciation#fat gut#dark feederism#death feederism#extreme feederism#feederism kink#female ffa#feeder wanted#feedee wanted#feedeerism#stuffed feedee#glorify obesity
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I hate how fandom has become "if you haven't created anything in this very specific time frame after the release of the show/movie, everyone will have moved on"
And call me old fashioned, but that's just not me. I sometimes take ages to create and publish. And I will love a show or movie for such a long time (years, babes, years) that I just can't relate to the fast consumerism that's going on.
Because, let's be real, it can get really lonely in a fandom if most have simply moved on to the next shiny thing. Is what's created less worth, just because it was created outside the hype? Why is it such a taboo for this new fandom generation to love an old or "late" fic or art?
It's so tiring and I'm too old for the 30-seconds-hype-tiktok-shit. Just tired. So, so tired.
#semi rant#cry into the void#and no i'm not shaming young ppl in general#it's this new wave of people entering fandom which can happen at any age lbr#and I don't understand them nor do I want to atp#if you're wondering why you can't rb anymore: I switched it off bcuz people can't fucking read and piss me off with their dumb additions
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Yall remember how Texas had that "report an abortion" form that they had to take down after a week?
Well, Missouri has one, only it's for reporting transgender concerns.
Comrades. Friends. Romans. Countrymen. You know what to do.
#queer politics#transgender#trans rights#trans legislation#trans genocide#missouri#fuck the AG man#PLEASE deal with this the same way we dealt with the texas one#i want this man to be SHAMED#I want my trans kids to know they are LOVED#i want this thing down by SUNDAY#please. if you do one thing for me ever im asking that this is it
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sources: ophelia, act IV, scene V // traci brimhall, dear eros // unknown // suzanne scanlone, promising young women // destiny, fieldplates gauntlets // camille rankine, emergency management // fatima aamer bilal, being unwanted is a language // unknown
#the burden of being known#i miss when i could let people know me without feeling shame#the loneliness of growing up#web weaving#grief#web writing#poetry#web weave#word weaving#words words words#spilled words#spilled poetry#actually bpd#bpd#depressing shit
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it’s crazy that rouge straight up said this and people still see her as a mother figure lmaooo
#edit: for the love of god ‘aunt/sister’ is not meaningfully different than mother figure#explain to me how ascribing a woman to a different role in a nuclear family is super subversive actually or shut up. please#rambles#stole a robot for the purpose of creating a perfect thieving tool and ignored every sign of interiority or will he expressed#and ditched him the second it became clear that the situation is more of a pain in the ass than it is a benefit#and said she’d hate to be a mom to said robot#how maternal.#god i fucking love rouge she’s so awesome in this game#such a shame about amy.#battle posting
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